Storybook Secrets
by Tsubasa3
Summary: Tohru finds one of Shigure's books and wants to read it. But Shigure won't let her. What does Shigure have to hide in his book? Sorry for the long wait! Final chapter!
1. Shigure's Book

Untitled as of now  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Fruits Basket in any way, shape or form. This is strictly for entertainment purposes and I am making no profit whatsoever off of this. The copyright belongs to Natsuki Takaya and other respected parties.  
  
Hia! Well, this is the first chapter of my story and I really hope you like this. I know that this is an unlikely couple and no offense to the strong supporters of Yuki/Kyo and Tohru couplings. I have nothing against that, in fact, I like it. So just, enjoy. Oh, an review too! And now, on with the story!  
  
I ran my fingers along the books on the shelf of the fine literature section, of my school library. A green book caught my eye and I took it off the shelf. It was bound with rough velvet and the title was engraved in small, neat, whispy letters. It read: A Very Fine Collection of Old Fables.  
  
The book appeared to be new, and held a musty smell. Looking at the author's name, I was surprised to see, in the same fashion as the title: Shigure Sohma. "Wow! I didn't expect to find Shigure's book here! That's a coincidene, huh Mom? I can't wait to tell Shigure!" Happy, I put the book in my bag and went off to another section.  
  
Later... Picking up Shigure's book, I ran downstairs to Shigure's study room. The fusuma was closed as usual and I could hear the rustling of his newspaper from inside the door. Sliding open the door, Shigure looked up.  
  
I smiled cheerfully. "Shigure, I was at the library today, and I saw one of you're books on the shelves," I began. I saw a strange flash of fear and panic cross his face. "I checked it out. I'm going to read it. Is that okay?"  
  
I thought Shigure would be excited I was reading one of his books, happy. I expected him to say something like: "Oh Tohru, that's great! Thank you. I'm flattered you're reading one of my books!" I got an unexpected reaction.  
  
His eyes narrowed and he stood abruptly. I saw anger in his eyes. He grabbed the book from my hands. "Tohru, how much did you read of it?!" he asked in a panic-stricken voice. "I- uh- Only the first few pages," I stammered. "Tohru, don't read this book, please, don't read it. I'm begging you!" He seemed desperate. "But- w-" "Tohru, whatever you do, just don't read it!" "But Shigure, why?" I asked, truly wondering in shock. Why could I not read Shigure's book? "You just can't!" "But Shigu-" "Tohru!" He grabbed my shoulders and looked me straight in the eye. His eyes held an almost crazed look in them and I could tell he meant it. He honestly, did not want me reading that book. For reasons, I just could not figure out. What was in that book that Shigure just could not trust me with?  
  
I jerked away as the first tear began to fall down my cheek. I ran up the stairs and shut the door behind me. I fell on the bed and began to sob. "Oh Mom, what'll I do?" I asked in between sobs. I felt so distraught at this. I didn't understand. "Why?" I asked. "Why?" I had made Shigure angry. And it came as a shock to me because Shigure rarely ever got mad. He was usually always calm and collected. And he had shown an act of anger and agression toward me, and it made me sad. I didn't want to hurt Shigure in any way. I wasn't sure how to handle this.  
  
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^... [Shigure] I shut the door to my room, and lit a cigarette hastily. Slumping down against the wall, I inhaled deeply, causing me to cough. I know, I could have been a lot less rough with her. I could have told her gently, but I didn't. I blew it. Now Tohru is probably so upset. She probably was upset, and I hated myself for it. I didn't want to hurt her in the slightest way. I couldn't do that, not to her.  
  
I inhaled again and let the smoke blow out my mouth. "Oh Tohru, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I muttered. I ran my hand through my hair impatiently. How could I ever face her again after what I had said to her, to upset her? I felt like such a criminal. I wanted to apologize, but that might lead to her questioning why I couldn't let her see the book. Because, because I can't let her know. Not yet. Not now. I couldn't expose myself to that. It would just cause pain for the both of us.  
  
I know, it's short. But it's just to get the ball rolling. So, how was that for a ch. 1? Ch. 2 on its way! I'll update soon. What do you think Shigure has to hide in his book? Huh? Read further chapters to find out! But for now, R&R! Arigato! ~ Tsubasa 


	2. The Aftermath

For the next few days, things seemed anxious between us. We didn't converse much, but when we did, we stayed strictly off the subject of what had happened. It was as if it never had happened. Shigure tended to give more straight-forward answers, while I was quiet most of the time. I guess Yuki sensed it.  
  
One evening while we were eating dinner, Yuki pointed his chopsticks at Shigure. "Did something happen recently? Miss Honda, you seem rather quiet, and you, I don't think I've ever seen you go so long without cracking some stupid joke." "Yeah, you're right," Kyo agreed. There was an eery silence that followed, followed then by Yuki giving Kyo a dark, menacing look. Kyo just scowled. "So we agree for the first time," said Yuki darkly. Kyo just grunted. "So, did anything happen? Is something wrong?" asked Yuki, back on the subject. "Oh, uh, no. E- everything is fine, really," I said reassuringly. Shigure didn't speak. There seemed to be a hole in the conversation without his input. Drawing Yuki's suspicions, he turned to Shigure who was sitting there innocently, eating his rice. "Right, Shigure?" Shigure looked up. "Oh, yeah. Why would you think something was wrong? I'm fine. We're fine," he said reassuringly. And with that, went back to his rice. Yuki sighed a long sigh. "All right then. Thank you, Miss Honda. It was delicious." "Oh, thank you." As Yuki stood from the table, followed by Kyo, I was left only with Shigure.  
  
The immediate silence seemed to engulf the room. Shigure had finished his rice and sat at the table next to me. The silence filled my ears. At times like these Shigure would almost certainly tell a joke to lighten the mood. I waited for the punch-line desperately, but none came. Just silence. Silence. I could hear faintly Shigure's unsteady breathing as well as my heart beating in my chest. I wanted to say something, to break the silence, but I couldn't. I couldn't find any words. And so I prayed for him to speak first, unless he was feeling the same way I was.  
  
"So." The words hit my ears and I payed close attention to every syllable. "I don't think we've had miso soup for quite a while. That would be good sometime soon." All of my expctations and hopes fell away. Disappointed, I said: "Y- yes, that would be good. But I'm not sure Kyo would agree," I replied. He chuckled to himself softly. "Yes, he would not like that." I knew Shigure was avoiding "the subject" at all costs, even if it meant discussing Kyo's disliking to miso soup. This conversation seemed to be headed nowhere I wanted to be. I said nothing in reply. Finally, Shigure said: "I should go," as he rose from the table and left.  
  
The silence settled around the room once again. I stood to clean the table. "He didn't even say 'thank you.' Didn't even finish his dinner," I muttered as I gathered the bowls. My hand fumbled idly for the contents of the table as the wind blew outside. The trees swooshed in the late afternoon sun gently setting below the horizon. But I wasn't thinking about that now. I was still wondering what was there, in that book, I couldn't see. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^... [Shigure]  
  
I watched her for a moment from the staircase as she cleaned the table. I wanted so much to apologize right then. The pain had over the last 48 hours become so unbearable I could hardly think about anything beside it. It consumed me like nothing else. I couldn't even write. The ideas would not come. A brick wall had been built in my mind restricting most other thoughts. A nightmare that I could not forget.  
  
In truth, I really had no idea how to handle this.  
  
But I knew I had brought this upon myself. Tohru was sad and hurt because I had been stern with her, becoming angry. I know I could've been better with that situation. But the panic overtook me and all I knew was I had to get the book away from her.  
  
It makes me think: what would Hatori have done in that situation? I'm sure he would have stayed always calm and collected, gentlemanly. Even Aya too could have probably handled it better than I did. There are so many aspects of myself that I find only now, I need to perfect.  
  
Where do I go? What do I do?  
  
Hey, how's that for ch. 2? Is it good? Could be better? I'll be posting ch. 3 soon. It doesn't take me long to write a chapter, promise. So, read on! I hope you're enjoying this. Bye! ~ Tsubasa 


	3. Yuki's Confrontation

[Shigure]  
  
And so, I called the only person I could think of calling, the Sohma's own doctor and second to top counselor. "Hatori, can I come over? I need to see you about something." Hatori: "Maybe la-" Shigure: "Hari, please." Hatori: "*sigh* I suppose so." Shigure: "Thanks Hari."  
  
I needed to vent and get Hari's advice in my current situation. Arriving at his house, he opened the door. "Shigure, I somehow get the impression this is something very personal." "Yes, of that nature, I suppose so." He paused by the door as if to contemplate what to tell me. "Come in," he said, standing aside.  
  
I sat at Hatori's table and he sat across from me. "Hari, I have a problem. I think I've upset someone and I don't really know how to uh...make them not upset anymore." Hatori gave me a condescending look at my choice of words. "Just apologize. It's as simple as that." "It would appear that way, yes. But I can't apologize. It might lead that person to questioning why I even made them upset and I can't tell them that." Hatori looked a little confused for a moment. "Well." Even Hatori seemed a little stumped by this. And then said, as if this was the answer to everything: "Shigure, I think you need to realize that no one else can solve your problems for you. It was you who made this person upset. It was you that caused it. You were the one that had the experience. It's your problem. You have to solve it yourself. You came to me because you thought I would be a good counsellor, but how can I? I lack the actual experience you had, and also quite a lack of detail as well. You're the only one who can solve this problem, Shigure. I think you secretly know what the best thing to do is. And you may sink yourself in even further, but you'll eventually rise up again." I was silent for a moment, wondering if I really did know. "Yes, I believe so. Thank you, Hatori."  
  
I needed to solve this problem. Hatori said that I knew what I should do. If I wanted to end this I had to apologize. And I would have to find the best way to explain things to Tohru without letting her know what was in that book, but I didn't think there was that possibility. As much as I would have liked to keep it a secret, I'm not sure if I can for much longer.  
  
^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^... [Tohru] The days seemed to pass slowly and I every minute became more aware of the same routine I was repeating day after day. I haven't really had much interaction with Shigure, he seems to constantly be figuring something out. Like a tedious math problem that no matter how many times you configure it, it always comes out the same way, but the wrong answer. And so, we went about our routines, pretending everything was normal and fine. But I wasn't. It upset me to the point of no end. I felt as if, in a way, I had done something wrong. I was the one who made him upset. How could I have known? It came to the point, where I almost wanted him to tell me that it wasn't anyone's fault. I just wanted that relief. To know he still cared about me and that we were still friends. I must sound so stupid, thinking, how could we not be friends? But I remember that look he held in his eyes, like saying, I can't let you. I can never let you see it.  
  
And as these thoughts swirled around my head, I started to wonder what it was, that was in that book. The due date was also looming ahead in the days to come and I would have to return it. I would have to tell Shigure. But I knew, that as much as I may have wanted to see what was hidden withing those pages, I couldn't. I wouldn't go against Shigure's words. He didn't want me reading it, so I wouldn't. I only want, to make him happy. ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^... [Shigure] Meanwhile, Yuki had been withholding his suspicions. "Shigure, something is wrong. I know it is, don't deny it! Tohru is upset, very, very upset and I need to know why, and I know that you know!" "Yuki, why would you thi-" "Shigure, this is serious!" "Don't ask that question Yuki." "Is it something you did, or Kyo, or me?" I remained silent. "SHIGURE!" "Don't yell Yuki," I said in a stern way. Yuki sighed and ran his hand through his hair. "Tell me Shigure. Please, tell me. If there's something wrong with Miss Honda we can fix, then why don't we?" "Yuki, understand this; this isn't something you or Kyo can fix for her. There's only one person who can. They just can't bring themself to do it."  
  
This seemed to puzzle Yuki for a moment before he donned a determined face again. "Well, I'm not leaving this room until I know who!" he said defiantly. "You're being childish," I told him. "You're the one that's being childish!" he shot back. "You just don't understand. What if Ayame or Hatori was in some kind of trouble. Wouldn't you want to help them? You just don't understand." He said the last part so soflty, but I heard. "You're the one who doesn't understand. You'd understand if you were in love." That really seemed to throw Yuki for a curb. "Shigure...w-" Turning angry, he yelled: "Love?! What would you know about love?!" "A lot more than you do!" I yelled back. Yuki sighed. "You're hopeless." That said, he turned and left. I sighed. What was the point? Why should I even try to explain it to them?  
  
They were incapable of knowing what I was going through. What the pain was like, to know I had upset her was more than I could handle. I hurt deep down where no one could reach.  
  
I leaned against the wall of my study and lit another cigarette from a pack by the computer. I took a slow drag and let the smoke pour out of my mouth and nostrils. As this happened, I became aware of the time. It was dark outside and the clock read 10:45. Almost 11. I took another drag and put it out in the ash tray on the desk. "Tohru, I know I hurt you. I'm so sorry. Please, please help me to be strong, for you, for me, for both of us," I pleaded softly. Making my way up the stairs, I collapsed onto the bed. I fell into a deep sleep, exhausted from life, as a single tear fell down my cheek unnoticed.  
  
The end of ch. 3. This chapter had a sad ending, I know. But I'm just letting the angst settle for a little. I'm very thankful for the reviews! I'm so glad you like it! Read on for ch. 4! ~ Tsubasa 


	4. Marriage and Memories

I awoke the next day to a melancholy feel. I seemed weighty, like I didn't want to move. It was early in the morning, around 7 as I slowly swung my legs over the side of the bed and stood. My eyes drooped, I wobbled for a second, getting my balance. I dressed in my usual grey kimono and walked downstairs to breakfast which at this point was a drudgery. I didn't want to be there, in that room with her, listening to the silence fill my ears, and knowing that I had caused this awkwardness among us. She seemed to hurt as well; always acting so passive around me, not speaking much. I just now, waited for the best opportunity to apologize. I felt like someone looking for a job. more here?????  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... Later I sat in my study, a cigarette dangling between my jaw. I for some reason moved to my desk where by my computer sat my favorite picture. The picture of the day when we all went to the zoo. Hatori, Tohru, Yuki, Kyo, and I all stood in the picture, our faces painted like zoo animals. Hatori stood the tallest in back of us while I was in back of Tohru, my arms around her as a friendly gesture, careful not to change. It was probably the only picture where Kyo and Yuki were not looking at each other evilly. Each one of us had a smile. I loved that picture. I remember, even to this day, what I felt when that picture was taken. It seemed like the first time I had ever been happy. Like true bliss. That was taken 4 months ago, but I still remeber what it felt like. That always sat by my computer; when I had no ideas for a story, that picture always gave me inspiration. I smiled for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.  
  
The phone suddenly rang a few feet away from me in the hall. I slid open the fusuma and answered the phone. "Hello? Sohma." "Shiguuurrrreee," sang a familiar voice. "Aya? Is that you?" I asked. He chuckled. "Yes it is!" "I was wondering, could Mine and I come over later? Around 3?" "Yeah. Yeah, you can come over." "Thank you so much! I have the most wonderful of news!" Ayame sang over the line. "What is it?" I asked despondently. "Huh? You usually are so excited when there's something to be announced. Is anything wrong?" Aya asked. I sighed. "No. No, everything's fine, really." "All right then. I'll see you later! Bye bye!"  
  
I set the phone down on the base and sighed. "Yuki!" I called. "Ayame is coming over later. I thought you might want to know!" There was something that sounded like a growl and I heard a 'boom' as he transformed. I peered in the kitchen to see Tohru. "Tohru, Ayame and Miss Kuramae are coming over later," I said. "Oh, okay. I'll make snacks then," she said. "Thanks," was all I said. Now, just looking at her hurt. I knew I had to apologize, but the timing wasn't right, and that drove me insane. Every time I saw her, every time something reminded me of her, every time her image popped in my head, I felt pain about it.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... The doorbell rang expectedly and Tohru opened it to reveal a very happy Ayame and Mine. "Hello Tohru. How are you?" he said in his usual cheerful manner. "I'm fine," she said as she bowed and then stepped aside for them to enter. "Wow! You know I've never been to Shigure's house, but it is a lot cleaner than I thought it would be!" Mine commented. "Oh, thank you," Tohru said with a smile. But I knew her smile was fake. I knew she was hurting just as bad as I was. I wasn't sure of the situation she was in, but I could tell, she hurt as well.  
  
We sat at the large table with Yuki and Kyo, Aya and Mine sat next to each other. I could see them holding thier hands under the table. Mine was absolutely glowing. "We," Ayame began. "Well wait, who should tell?" he asked. "Um...well, you can tell," Mine said. "But no. You want to, don't you?" he asked. "You can tell; it's okay." "Oh, all right. Well, Mine and I, the both of us, are getting married!" he said loudly. I for one was very surprised at the news. I didn't expect this. But then this news also brought about sadness. I glanced over at Tohru. That sort of thing had only been something dealt with in fantasies. Something I never really thought would happen, but just hoped for hopelessly.  
  
"Congratulations," I said dispirited. That response didn't seem to be what they expected. Aya looked at me, a little worried. "Huh? Shigure, are you sure you're all right? You've been acting down in the dumps since I called you earlier." I wanted to tell them: No! I'm miserable! I hate this! Why did you have to go and get married anyway, and remind me?! But I bit my tongue and lied. "I'm perfectly fine," I said convincingly with an artificial smile. Dropping the subject, they nodded. "So, how did you manage to get Akito to go allow it?" I asked, now curious. "Oh, Akito surprisingly had few objections. He said that there was obviously no way he could stop us. And besides, he seemed very engrossed with something else at the time," Ayame said. I nodded half-heartedly. "Well, I really think it's wonderful you two are getting married!" chimed Tohru a few feet away from me. "When is the date?" she asked. "It'll be a few months from now, I'd say probably sometime in March. So that's 6 months from now," Mine answered happily.  
  
Yuki glanced over at his brother disdainfully and sighed. "Congratulations. You've finally found someone who can put up with you, but I sure don't know how," Yuki commented finally. "Pass me another jelly bun," Kyo said, reaching over. I settled into a softness as the room became one of a peaceful atmosphere except for Yuki and Kyo's occasional bickering that just blended into the background.  
  
I became quiet. My mind was elsewhere, precisely three feet away from me sitting on a mat, smiling and talking to Aya and Mine about the wedding preparations. Right then, I had to contain myself from pulling her close and begging for forgiveness. It had been 8 days since that day. That day when she showed me the book. The memory was still fresh in my mind of what had happened, and now it had plunged us, Tohru and I, into a sea of sadness and despair. I felt hopeless. I realized only now, that I feel totally helpless and utterly defenseless when it's like this between us. She influences so much about me, without evening realizing it herself. And until only recently, I wasn't even aware of it myself; aware of the little things I did that I was influeneced through her.  
  
"Gure-san? Shigure, what do you think?" Ayame asked me. I looked up. "Huh?" Ayame was showing me a picture of a wedding dress he thought would be nice for Mine to wear. "Oh, yes, that is a very nice dress. Good choice," I said, now becoming an active part of the conversation again. Ayame, as earlier, looked at me like I had some sort of pitiful disease. "Shigure, I'm worried about you. Now you may think I'm knitpicking, but you aren't usually so quiet. And you haven't told a single joke so far," Ayame accused. I laughed nostalgically. "I guess not."  
  
"He's been like this all week. He hasn't told a single joke for eight days; it's frightening. He's been giving hardly autible let alone rational answers to questions too. I usually just ignore him," Yuki told Ayame. Tohru looked my way, a sad, worried expression on her face. But she remeained quiet and said notihng. "He hasn't been acting the same at all. He doesn't even try to stop us fighting," Kyo said, meaning Yuki, while munching on a jelly bun. I desperately needed this conversation to take a different turn than my recent behaviour. "So Aya, did you make Mine's dress yourself?" I asked in an attempt to turn the conversation. "Yes! Don't you think it looks lovely? It's very modern I should say without completely neglecting contemporary." And so on he went.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^*... 2 hours later... Ayame and Mine have left... Glancing at the picture again, I felt that quickly passing sense of bliss once again. What was I waiting for? I asked myself. What was I waiting for? I could end it all right now, but I don't. I continue to torture myself over this. I just don't have the strength yet. I don't have the strength to tell her what I really feel. I knew that I had to end it soon. I had to apologize, and then tell her. Tell her the truth. And as much as my life may sink away, I can't do this to her, I can't do this to myself. Like Hatori said: "You're the only one who can solve this problem, Shigure. I think you secretly know what the best thing to do is. And you may sink yourself in even further, but you'll eventually rise up again."  
  
Hey! The end of ch. 4! I wrote this all in two days and now here it is! I really hope you're liking this and thank you so much for the reviews! Ch. 5 coming soon! ~ Tsubasa 


	5. Let's End This

"Mom, what's going to happen? I feel so unsure. Can I settle things between Shigure and I? Help me, Mom. Please help me, Mom." I curled into a little ball on my bed and let the tears fall slowly.  
  
"Just be yourself. You'll be fine."  
  
"Right Mom, right," I said softly. Those words had always given me comfort before, but now they didn't seem so comforting. All I wanted was to hear Shigure's voice tell me everything was okay and I didn't have to worry. I wanted to hear him tell me we would always be together, a family. I wanted to feel his warmth pressed against my body and listen to his steady heartbeat fill my ears. I wanted to know that I was safe and would always be welcome in his arms. Right then, I wanted that more than anything.  
  
I rolled into an even tighter ball and closed my eyes as I fell asleep, one last tear falling.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... [Shigure]  
  
I flipped open the green bound book. I looked over the familiar pages, running my fingers along the lines. I purposely flipped to the last page and read the first line very slowly. Sighing, I closed it quickly and stood. I opened the window to survey the woods outside in the dark, soundless night. I felt restless, every muscle in my body itched with anticipation.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... [Tohru]  
  
I awoke the next morning, feeling restless. I went about my daily routine that day with only one thought. My lines. How I would conduct myself. I had to stop this between us, and I was doing it tomorrow night.  
  
In an attempt to calm myself and get my mind off tomorrow night, I decided to call Hana. Upon answering the phone, she immediately diagnosed me. "Hello? Hana?" "Tohru, you seem troubled." "Oh, no. Why w- well, maybe." "What is it? What's wrong?" Hana urged me worried. "You're electrical waves are...disturbed." "Disturbed?" "Anxious..." "Anxious? Um...well, I suppose so," I admitted. "I sense a turning point in your life very close at hand," Hana predicted in the manner of a fortune-teller. "I don't know. I am a little worried," I confessed. "What is it Tohru," Hana repeated. "Well, I uh..." I struggled to form the words. "I'm going to tell someone how I feel tomorrow night," I confessed softly. There was a silence over the phone for a moment.  
  
"Oh. That's why," Hana finally said. "Tohru, I think, I think that you'll overcome this. I don't fully understand your dilemna, but I know that you're strong. You're strong enough to deal with this, with what you're about to do." "I hope so. It's on my mind constantly. I can't stop thinking about it. I have no idea how the other person will react, or how I will react to their reaction." "If you want this to have a certain outcome, you can make it com true. If you want this badly enough you can make it happen." "Thanks Hana. I appreciate it." "Be strong Tohru. Good luck. Good bye." "Bye," I said into the phone as the other line hung up. I sighed as I set the phone down on the base.  
  
I must have sat by the window the whole rest of the day. I waited for hours, just to pass the time. I couldn't do anything else. Nothing would hold my attenion; my whole mental state was fixated on tomorrow night. I ran over my lines once more in my head. Evening finally came and retired in a hurry, wanting to not think of it anymore. But sleep would also bring me closer to that moment. That moment when I would slide open the fusuma and see him sitting there, reading his newspaper, and he would look up, and I would say his name. "Shigure." I mouthed the word on my lips silently.  
  
I climbed into my bed with the pink bedspread he had bought for me a long time ago. I pulled the blanket up around me and held it close. I stared at the ceiling for a while, waiting for the minutes to pass. Then finally closing my eyes, I willed myself to sleep.  
  
"Relax. Just be yourself. You'll be fine."  
  
I awoke to those words echoing in my mind. It was still dark outside and birds were just beginning to chirp outside in the trees surrounding the house. I had awoken a lot earlier than usual; I guessed it was about 5:30.  
  
A picture of Shigure flashed in my mind. And then I remembered the time when we all went to the zoo together with Hatori, Yuki, and Kyo. I smiled at that thought. We had all had our faces painted like zoo animals, even Hatori. That, I think, is my favorite memory. We were all together, and we were happy. Everyone was smiling; I could even see a smile tugging at Hatori's lips. And as these images flashed across my mind, I came to realize all over again how grateful I am and should be even more to the Sohmas. They have sacrificed so much for me and have given me a home, a family. They are my family now, and I wouldn't trade them in for the world. I love each and every one of them.  
  
And then finally, one single shot of Shigure flashed across my mind, leaving an imprint there. I saw his face so clearly, smiling. "I want to stay together," I said to the air around me. "Help me be strong Mom." I rolled over and closed my eyes, still picturing his face.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
I awoke again at 8:00. My mind was a complete whirl of thoughts throughout the day. I had difficulty making breakfast and miso soup while thinking about what lay ahead in the hours to come. Hana called to make sure I was okay; she said she could sense my electrical waves even over the distance. After a few reassuring words Hana gave me, I hung up. Hana seemed worried and had no doubt already called Uo. Hana's words were appreciated and good, but they weren't going to put my mind at ease. The only one who could do that now was Shigure.  
  
As the hours passed slowly and I constantly glanced at the clock nervously, I became more and more uneasy. The hours ticked by tediously and I listened to every tick which seemed to come with miles between them.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
7:45 p.m.  
  
I stood in front of the mirror with blurred vision and looked at myself up and down. Stopping myself from bursting into full tears, I forced a straight face and wiped the tears from my eyes. I straightened my hair in the mirror for a moment before. "Give me strength Mom," I said as I turned and left my room. I slowly crept down the stairs until I came to the door to Shigure's study. I pushed back one more urge to sniffle and slid open the fusuma cautiously. Shigure was sitting there reading his newspaper as usual and looked up.  
  
"Shigure," I began. I choked out the rest of the words with force. "Let's end this now."  
  
The end of long awaited ch. 5. Ch. 6 coming soon. *suspense music plays* 


	6. An Unexpected Alarm

The phone rang out in the hall. We decided to ignore it, but it continued to ring. 4...5...6... I finally answered it. It was Hatori. "Hello? Hatori?" "Tohru, is Shigure there? I need to speak with him." Since we were in the middle of something, I would have told him Shigure wasn't available, but Hatori's voice seemed urgent. "Um...yeah. Hold on." I handed the phone to Shigure.  
  
"Hello? Hari?" There was a short pause. "What?" Another pause followed. "I'll be right over then." Shigure put down the phone. "Tohru, I have to go. It's urgent," he told me. "But what-" "I'll be back in a few hours. Tell Yuki and Kyo. Bye!" he said quickly as he rushed out the door, leaving me speechless. "Oh, okay," I said softly to the still air surrounding me.  
  
There went my chance. I was going to do it, to end this. But now it had slipped away between my fingers. I would have to try again. What could have been so urgent to interrupt this? What was so important he had to leave on such short notice? I had been waiting for this moment, gathering my courage to confront him, and now gone in the blink of an eye. I staggered over to the cough and plopped down onto it. I sat in the silence for a few moments; I was still in shock of what had happened. He just, left. My head lolled to the side and I looked at the wall for a moment.  
  
Finally standing, I hit myself on the head. "Tohru, how could you be so stupid?" At the moment I was not concerned with the fact of why Shigure had left in such a hurry, or the fact that Hatori had sounded urgent on the phone when he called. I was still absorbing the fact, that that moment wasn't even a moment. It was a second when I choked out a single, vital sentence that was suddenly interrupted by the phone.  
  
"Oh Mom, how could I have let that happen? I was so close." Frustrated, I went into the kitchen and began washing dishes in the hopes of working off my frustration and getting my mind off of what had just happened. Finishing the final dish, I dried my hands.  
  
Well, the dishes hadn't helped my frustrations in the least, nor to get my mind off Shigure. So, I decided, I was going to go find him. Though I had no idea where he had gone. A police station, a hospital? I decided that in an attempt to locate him, I would call Hatori.  
  
Rushing to the phone, I dialed his familiar number hastily and then the other line began to ring. It rang two or three times until the answering machine came on. It began to play until the phone was suddenly received in a hurry. "Hello?" said an out-of-breathe Hatori. "Hello. Hatori, where did Shigure go?" I asked. "He went to the hospital. I'm going there as well; would you like me to drive you there as well?" he offered. "Oh, yes. Please do," I said. "I'll pick you up," he said. "Wait!" I said. But the phone had already been hung up and all that was left was a low dial tone on the other end. Setting the phone down, I ran upstairs and got my coat. Passing Yuki on the stairs, I said: "Yuki, I'm going somewhere with Hatori. I'll see you later. Bye." Yuki simply nodded. I think he had been suspecting something was being settled between Shigure and I and he didn't want to interfere. He probably thought this was just an issue of that which would eventually resolve itself, so he left it alone.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
Ten minutes later Hatori picked me up and drove to the hospital. Traffic was surprisingly light as we drove. At every stop light he would hit his fingers on the steering wheel impatiently. Hatori didn't tell me what the purpose was of going to the hospital though he seemed very urgent about it. Thoughts whirled about my head, the events of earlier forgotten.  
  
We finally arrived at the hospital as Hatori pulled into the parking lot and almost immediately was out of the car, running for the hospital. I struggled to keep up with him until we were across the parking lot and in a waiting room. Hatori rushed over to a desk with a nurse behind it. "I need to know the room of Sohma Akito in CCU," he explained. "Are you family?" The nurse asked. "Yes," Hatori gasped. The nurse nodded and looked it up on her computer. "E 19, 4th floor," she replied. "Thank you," Hatori said as he raced to the elevator, I following.  
  
On the ride up the elevator, I was wondering of what could be wrong. Had something bad happened to Akito? Why was he at the hospital? But I had a feeling all my questions would be answered in a few minutes.  
  
The elevator stopped and the doors opened to reveal the 4th floor of the hospital. We walked past doctors and nurses and patients and I had to dodge a hurried nurse. Only when we reached the 4th floor waiting room did Hatori slow down and catch his breathe. We entered through a door. There were few people in it, but one I recognized. I rushed over to Shigure's back. He turned around and said: "Oh, Tohru. Akito, he had a stroke."  
  
The end of ch. 6. I know, it's a bit shorter than the other ones. Until next time! 


	7. Trip to the Hospital

opium alkaloids/codeine= medications, painkillers made from poppy seeds  
  
"What?" I choked out. Hatori turned to me. "Yes. It was a minor stroke and he will recover. He's on medication and he'll be released in a week," he said. "Oh," was all I could mutter. I was shocked. I knew that Akito was generally a person plagued with sickness often, but I didn't know that it could become serious. "This is the first time this has happened. Doctors believe it was brought on by an extended amount of stress. They say we should just let him relax. He's sleeping now," Shigure said. I nodded as my cheeks began to burn and turn pink.  
  
"We should visit him in a few minutes," Hatori suggested. "Why so eager?" asked Shigure. Hatori cleared his throat professioanlly. "I have an obligation to be worried about him. He is my main patient and one that I know inside-out. I have taken care of Akito since he was a young child. I am his doctor. I can possibly be of some help to the others," he said.  
  
A nurse came over to us. "Sohma Akito is resting now and you may see him if you wish though please speak softly," the nurse instructed. She led us into a back room marked E 19. There were curtains drawn and the only thing to be heard was the IV and the sound of slow, shallow breathing from behind the curtain. The nurse looked at Akito with pity and dismissed herself so we could be alone with him.  
  
We approached the curtain. Behind it was a bed, on it resting a young man looking so youthful now. His head was turned to the side, his arm laying off to the side as well lower on the bed. His hair was messy and matted and lay all across the pillow his head rested on. Sleeping there, he seemed so helpless and defenseless against what was happening. And I truly felt sorry for him. He had been misunderstood his entire life and not to mention all the burdens layed on his shoulders. Why did this have to happen to him? I asked myself. He is, I know, a very good person.  
  
But at least, for now, he is safe. I smiled despite the current situation. Everything is going to be okay. Akito moaned and turned his head to the other side. "He's going to be okay," I told Shigure and Hatori, looking from one side to the other at them. A doctor entered the room with a clipboard. "Hello," he said. "I'm going to take his blood pressure." "Be careful of what medications you give him. He sometimes itches and gets headaches," Hatori warned. "Yes. I'll keep that in mind," the doctor said. "Oh, and he's allergic to codeine as well as a few other opium alkaloids," Hatori pointed out. "And sometimes Aspirin makes him dizzy." The doctor looked up. "Are you in the medical practice," he asked Hatori almost accusingly. Hatori looked away. "No."  
  
Shigure cleared his throat awkwardly. "I'm going to go call Yuki and Kyo and tell them what happened," he said, leaving the room. I followed him. Realizing I was following him, he stopped in front of the pay phone. Not looking directly at me, he asked: "Tohru, why did you come here?" I paused for a moment. "Because," I began. "I wanted to finish what I was saying." He sighed. "Later," was all he said in a way meaning the conversation was over.  
  
Why was Shigure acting like this? He was pretending he didn't want to deal with this now, like it was not the most immediate thing. Almost as if it was a hassle. And that made me sad. Shigure had never acted before in a way like I had been anything of a hassle, and now that he had, it made me very sad. I truly didn't want to be a burden to anyone, especially not to him.  
  
Next to me, Shigure put a coin in the slot next to the phone and dialed our number. "Hello. Yuki. We're at the hospital. Akito had a stroke. We'll be home soon." There was a short pause, then: "Bye." Shigure set the phone down and then glanced at me for a moment and looked as if he was going to say something. "Let's go back by Hatori," he finally said.  
  
Hatori was examining the IV while the doctor who by this time was convinced Hatori was a doctor, which he was, just not professionally, talking to him about certain antibiotics. Akito was still sleeping, not to mention breathing. Shigure and I entered the room quietly to check up on things.  
  
A few minutes later, we heard a moan and a black-haired young man opened his eyes. Hatori and the doctor turned to him. "So, you've decided to open your eyes finally. Good evening Mr. Sohma. It is currently 8:37 and the temperature is 62 degrees outside," the doctor said, giving a full report of the current atmospheric conditions. Akito sat up slowly and rubbed his eyes. He didn't speak for a moment and seemed to be trying to figure out where he was. "What happened?" he finally croaked raspily. "You had a stroke," Hatori supplied. "It was fairly minor and you will recover," he added. Akito seemed to not really have absorbed that and seemed dazed from the medication, not fully aware.  
  
"You'll rest here for a few more days and then we'll release you, good as new," the doctor said, now cheeful his patient had woken up. Akito nodded in a dazed state. "Well, that's all for now. I'll check up on you later Mr. Sohma," he told Akito and left; Hatori seemed relieved.  
  
"You should take it easy from now on," Hatori instructed Akito. "Yeah," was all he said in reply. Setting himself into a reclining position again, he muttered: "I'm going to sleep." "He's exhausted from his ordeal and the medication. He'll be sleeping quite soundly. There's no need to stay any longer," he said. "I suppose we should go. It's late," Shigure said, excusing us.  
  
On the way home in the car, I glanced at Shigure hesitantly. Forcing myself to speak in case this chance never came again, I spoke softly. Feeling that I shouldn't directly enforce the subject, I said something else. "Shigure, I just want you to know that...that you can always lean on me when you have a problem or something. You can feel free to come to me for advice. You'll always have a friend in me, Shigure. Because, because Shigure, you're- you're my best friend."  
  
I didn't know what I was expecting in response from what I had just said. I hoped that I hadn't put him on the spot. Hoping to persuade a response from him, I continued.  
  
"And even if you think I won't listen or it's too stupid to tell me, that's okay. Or even if you are embarrassed or sad, or frustrated, or angry, that's okay too. I want to listen Shigure. I want to know what you're thinking and what your troubles are. I'll listen. I promise," I told him. My own speech had drawn tears from my eyes, but refused to let them fall. I waited patiently for some sort of response, anything.  
  
...................cricket....................  
  
The void in the conversation grew wider every second. It was almost like Shigure had not heard what I had said. His eyes were fixed on the road. And finally, in the softest voice ever possible to be made by the lungs, I heard a soft, subtle: "Thank you," from my left. I smiled, knowing he understood.  
  
Hey! Chappie 7 is at a close I am afraid. I'll update soon! You know I will. 


	8. Anticipation of The Horizon

Akito stayed in the hospital for a week. He was then discharged home to recover further. Hatori looked after him like a worried mother about her sick child and tried to give him every possible comfort. He would take no other patients except Akito. I had never seen Hatori work so hard.  
  
Akito was very tired most of the time and didn't speak much. Fortunately, aside from being exhausted most of the time, there were no injuries to Akito from the stroke. He would be back to his old self once again in no time. Hatori, you could tell, was ecstatic from this news, though he kept it mostly to himself and tried to hide it. I really had no idea how much Hatori really cared for Akito. After all that's happened, he still cares for him as a father looking after his sometimes foolish and naive son. If anytihng ever did happen to Akito, I'm sure we all would be very sad.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... [Hatori]  
  
That day when Tohru went to visit Akito, she told him that when he died we would all be very sad to lose him. I suppose I believed it at the time, but only now do the words hit me with such force that I think about how fortunate we are to have him here with us, and how terrifying and sad it really would be to lose him. I should be more thankful that Akito is even alive.  
  
When I first heard the news Akito had had a stroke, those words echoed in my mind horrifyingly. I showed no signs of it, but I was frozen with fear. Had Akito left my life then, I wonder if I could still continue to move forward and get over it. I probably would have quit being a doctor for the Sohmas. I would hate myself for not being able to save his life.  
  
So now, that he is alive and healthy, do I find myself truly grateful.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... [Tohru]  
  
At this point, things seemed to be in the middle, if you know what I mean. The awkwardness would become heavy sometimes when we were alone. But we knew it would come to an end soon. We each sensed that it was coming. We were going to tell each other exactly how we felt about this situation. But the fact that we knew nothing of this mysterious date when we would tell our true feelings was maddening.  
  
Shigure must have been feeling a lot of stress as well. But I think he knew what was going to happen. Me, I wasn't sure. I wasn't entirely positive of my feelings toward this situation anymore, or Shigure. In the beginning, which seems like an eternity ago, what started this entire thing, I knew what my exact feelings were toward this situation; I wanted to end it and Shigure and I would remain close friends.  
  
But now it seems more complicated than that. My feelings for this situation have grown over time, but so have my feelings for Shigure as well. I dream of the day when I could hold him in my arms and.....  
  
But I still wasn't sure of my feelings. I wasn't sure what Shigure meant to me anymore. A lot more than friends, almost in a- No! That's just crazy! It isn't even rational! Romance- ha! But my heart was telling me something else. I felt a heated shiver go through me as I thought of it. In truth, nothing holding it back or any lies, I secretly felt a burning desire to hold him and kiss him, and tell him I would never leave him. I wanted Shigure so much it was unbearable at times.  
  
This was love. I felt it pulse through my vains every time I glanced at him. Just imagining his long, black hair and dark eyes, wearing his grey kimono, made me wish I could pull him into my arms right that moment and feel his hair and touch his skin. It was a crazy emotion that was so strong yet always gentle for him. I wondered if he felt the same way.  
  
I took a breathe and sat on my bed. "Mom, is this what you felt with dad?" I asked. Did all love feel this way? Did it feel this hurried and urgent like mine did? Was it always so strong? When I see him smile, I can feel this feeling grow inside me, wanting to come out, to express itself in a kiss. I imagined his mouth pressed against mine in a sweet kiss. He does this to me, nobody else.  
  
And so I waited as the hours passed, day by day, for that unknown date when I would tell him, I was in love with him. Yuki, who by this point, had an entire theory of what was going on between Shigure and I, though he could only speculate, seemed to notice. One time he even told me "It's okay." He seemed to be catching on to what Shigure was thinking as well, and I was dying to know.  
  
"Yuki, um...Shigure, you seem to know a lot of his 'views'," I phrased it. "What does he think of me?" I asked slowly. This seemed to take Yuki for surprise but his features softened. "Just wait," he told me. "You'll know soon." With those words, I became a little more at ease.  
  
My prayers were finally answered one day in the late afternoon, around 4. We had eaten an early dinner, because Yuki had to oversee activities with the School Board and Kyo had to go as well. Shigure was reading the newspaper in his study with the door to the outside open. I knew exactly what part of the newspaper he was reading right then. He always read the newspaper in a certain order and right now would be glancing over the obituaries.  
  
Because Akito had had a stroke recently, I decided you only live once, and so, I decided I just wanted to see him, to talk to him, even if it did result in nothing. I slid open the fusuma and immediately upon seeing his head partilaly hidden by the newspaper, I knew, we would confess. No more waiting.  
  
He had heard me and looked up through his black-rimmed glasses. He did not smile but seemed to meet me with an expecting gaze. He remained silent for a moment. "Shigure," I began in a somewhat forced voice. I knew that now, the one that I loved would know how I felt, but I could not begin it. "Tohru, we need to talk," he suddenly said. I nodded in approval. "Yes, we do," I agreed to the floor.  
  
"Shigure, I- I need to tell you what I feel." We apparently both had the same thing in mind. He stood and folded the newspaper unevenly and rested it on his desk by the computer. He stepped towards me cautiously and gently brushed my cheek with his hand. I almost flinched at his touch. "Shigure...?"  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
Yep, the end of ch. 8. 9 and 10 will be arriving as a double package soon! Bye 'til then! 


	9. Final Chapter Realized Passion

I don't own Fruits Basket, but the lyrics to the poem are mine. This one chapter is rated PG. Chapters 9 and 10 were supposed to be separate, but I compressed the two into one chapter.  
  
[Shigure] I backed away from her then quickly, knowing I had something to do. "Tohru, let me show you something....important," I said, reaching for the book that rested by the computer. I flipped it to the last page, gazing at it for a moment before handing it to her.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*... [Tohru] I glanced at Shigure hesitantly for a moment before I looked down and began to read. My breathe caught in my throat...  
  
Midnight falls upon the rain  
  
And the memories replay in my mind of that day  
  
Do you remember?  
  
That time we shared together  
  
You laughed and told me to have no worries  
  
And said that let's just enjoy it  
  
I listened to the sparrows sing a sorrowful song  
  
And you sang along with them as if it was a happy one  
  
As you danced out there in the midst of midnight  
  
You laughed and smiled and took my hand  
  
And before I knew it I was out there with you  
  
I felt the rain hit my face and listened to the sounds of the ever closing midnight  
  
As the rain fell steadily, I felt my heart leap  
  
And I leaned forward into you  
  
A sweet, gentle kiss  
  
As midnight passed and the sparrows fell to sleep,  
  
I held your kiss on my lips and whispered your name softly  
  
"Tohru..."  
  
When the poem ended, I was lost in a dazed state of shock. Shigure was behind me, waiting in suspense. The tears slid down my cheeks. I turned around to face Shigure who apparently was not expecting that reaction. There was a silence and we each watched each other for a few moments.  
  
"Shigure, why...why did you hide it?" I asked him quietly. He paused for a moment. "Because, I didn't think you could accept me, if you knew. I didn't think you could return my feelings fully back to me. Then, I couldn't expose myself to that humiliation, that rejection," he replied.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
[Shigure]  
  
And finally, I formed those words I had been dying to say for a long time.  
  
"Tohru Honda, I love you." I said it without hesitation, knowing it was the right thing to do. Whether she loved me or not, she knew. She knew I loved her. Feeling the long-awaited relief of this, I stepped back, sighing. Tohru continued to stare at me and she dropped the book on the table. She stepped toward me unsteadily.  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
[Tohru]  
  
I stepped towards Shigure despite my blurred vision. Finally, after all this time, Shigure seemed within reach. I took one last step and fell into his embrace, comforted by his newly felt warmth. He wrapped his arms around me and held me close. I listened to his heartbeat pleasantly. We held each other for what seemed like an eternity.  
  
We finally broke apart just in time before he transformed, holding my hand. We each looked at each other for a moment. He paused for a moment. "Tohru, do I have your love?" he asked me. I looked up at him and into his dark, brown eyes. "Yes. Always," I replied softly. He smiled softly. "Tohru..." he whispered my name. I knew it was coming. Slowy, he leaned forward and pressed his mouth against my lips gently. It was a gentle kiss, but it seemed to relieve all of my passion and love. I reveled in this touch, pulling him closer. He held my mouth planted against his. His poem, playing in my head again, as if a sweet melody.  
  
We finally broke apart, each out of breathe. I smiled, knowing our love had been realized. "I love you, Shigure Sohma. For a lone time now," I said. He smiled at me lovingly. We were apart not for long as Shigure pulled me in again and smashed his mouth against my own. He moaned softly in pleasure. He moved down to my neck, creating a long trail of kisses. Suddenly, I gasped. He stopped right in his tracks and looked at me surprised, waiting for me to say what was wrong. I glanced to the book on the table. "Shigure, the book, it's late! Very late," I said. "How much is the fee?" he asked nervously, releasing me from his firm lock. "Um....It was sue back around 2 weeks ago, so....maybe 15, 20 yen." He sighed. "Well, let's worry about that later. We've got better things to do," he said teasingly and kissed me again.  
  
Prologue  
  
Later that day, sitting alone, I opened the first page of the book; now I didn't have to be afraid Shigure would see me reading it- that's a relief. The first page read in plain, black letters:  
  
This is dedicated to Yuki, Kyo, and Tohru, the ones closest to my heart who have given  
me so much to be thankful for.  
  
That made me smile.  
  
The book was returned to the library, only 15 yen. Though it did ruin my perfect record of never being late with a book ever. But that's okay. I got a lot out of that book. A love. It was long and unbearably tedious, but it was worth it.  
  
I think Yuki would be happy.  
  
THE END  
  
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^*...  
  
Whew! That took a lot out of me. I hope it was as good as all of you hoped. *sigh* This moment is one of the reasons why I wrote this fic, and here it is!  
  
Finally, the story has come to a close. I loved writing this story; it was a really great experience for me as a writer and I hope it was to all of you readers too. Thank you everyone so much for reading! I appreciate it! Until next time, ~ Tsubasa3  
  
This story is dedicated to exactly the people who deserve it- All the fans and people who followed the story and reviewed. You're the only ones who are worthy for this to be dedicated to. You urged me to write quicker and better, and I thank you so much! 


End file.
